The villager

It is raining cats and dogs It feels like the 'mabati'(iron sheets) roof top will tear wide open. I am sitting very close to the fire place pushing in the firewood logs as they burn out. My grandmother's kitchen is lit up with laughter and loud voices sharing stories. ''hodi guku! niya me guku? mutihigure tutanahijio ni bura!'(knock!who are here?open before the rain makes us thin!" It was my grandmother's neighbour better yet the village gossip who knew about everyone and everything. She was accompanied by her niece who matched her granny's gossip skills. This young lady had no sense of place and crowd. to her she would say anything anywhere to anyone. We had nicknamed her 'bila shame'(without shame)The laughter died and the circle around the fire had broken to create room for the guest. I could see a mixture of amusement and uneasiness on my siblings and cousin's faces as the guest took their seats.

"Nikii mwahagira na mwaki munene uguo? kwi gachai guku kana ni irio tukuria?" (What are you cooking in such a big fire? do you have tea or is it food that we shall eat?) My eldest cousin who was sitting closest to the kettle stood up and served them with tea. Soon as she sat down bila shame said thank you and quickly added " haya kumbe ni Jane? ulipata matiti kubwa ivo lini? nakumbuka mkiweka 'jururi' kwa vifua zenyu huku kwa mto mnafura mnakaa ni kama mko na matiti alaf zinapotea!" (so it you Jane? when did you get such big breast? I remember you placing leeches on your chests down by the river and your breast would swell up an look big then they would disappear!) My male cousins burst out laughing but the rest of us tried to brush it off lest she picked on one of us. Bila shame's aunt went on and on about the deacon who lived opposite her house and how his wife must be using witchcraft because that man has no eyes for other women. To her it was impossible for a man to be faithful and foolish for a woman not get a child with a different man from her husband to dilute the 'foolish gene'. Her explanation of the deacon's marriage was zeroed down to witch craft. I asked her of the whereabouts of her daughter who was my playmate when I visited my grandmother as a child. Her response left me wondering why my big mouth had to go flying open!

"Aliorewa na akazaa watoto wawiri. arafu amerebeka sana ntakupatia nuber yake ukirudi nairombi umpigie. Yeye atakusandia sana upate kuorewa . unajua nakubuka vire arikusaindia ire siku uriumwa na mbwa yangu ukajikojorea! hapo nirijua hutaorewa haraka ni hio uoga. usijari ukimpigia simu wewe shinda simeisha. kwani haukuri? unakaa kukonderea vibaya. kura za cucu kabra uende''(she got married and has two children now. She is very pretty now. I will give you her number so when get back to Nairobi you call her. She will assist you and you will get married. You know I remember how she helped you the day my dog bit you and you peed on yourself! that day I knew you will not get married early because of that fear.Don't worry when you call her your problems are over. Don't you eat? You look very thin. Eat at granny's well before you leave.) I could see the disbelief and amusement on my relatives faces each one looking away before she picked on them. My mouth went dry I was not sure if I should be mad at this ignorance or amused by it.

'Maina ire ni gari yako? na sasa bona hujaoa na vile mrikuwa na mnashuguria mwende akioga wakati mrikua secodary? na kubuka nikiwakufusa na kifagio''( Maina is that your car? and why are you not married and when you were in high school I remember you peeping at Mwende in the bathroom? I remember chasing you away with a broom.)At this point we all burst out laughing . She was annoying! My grandmother came to our rescue when she came into the kitchen to check on us. She asked her what happened with the plan to get bila shame a husband after inviting the good deacon to her house for prayers and bila shame came to serve tea in a towel which 'accidentally' fell off? she quickly got on her feet and grabbed her niece's arm 'mvua imeisha nitakuja tuongee io mabo kesho. mrare sarama''( The rain has stopped. I will come tomorrow we talk about it. goodnight) and off they went into the darkness.