FOUL PLAY

It is Wednesday very early in the morning am sitting in a bus on my way to work,we stop to pick passengers every so often. I am sitting near a window so I can see most passengers as they board, I spot him. He is clean shaven, tall, sharp suit and some darn nice shoes! my jaw drops and I start hoping he picks the seat next to me. He boards the bus and does a quick scan for a seat I could almost clap with my feet when he pick the one next to me!! I am ready to guess what cologne he's wearing once he settles down. My smile fades away and my brain starts to scream "Why? Why? Devil Why? it is too early to play tricks on me! Lord why allow this foul play!!" The man I was admiring from my window and the man sitting next me were not one and the same I refused to believe! unfortunately the pungent smell of froth was something undeniable. It is midweek! it is very early in the day! why are you smelling of cheap liquor???!!! Why???  His phone rings, his ring tone is one of my favorite songs (my love for that song is now on a weighing scale) He picks it and right then I believe even my guardian angel threw up! This is going to be a long journey to work!

I open the window partially since it is terribly cold but the air around me is not fit for human consumption. luckily I have a hooded trench coat on, so I simply wear the hood close my eyes and pray that  I survive this sewer smell. Just then my phone vibrates,it's a chat message from one of my friends. I open it and a photo downloads it is a hilarious meme I read it as I chuckle another one comes in from another friend it is funnier I chuckle some more then quickly go back to the first message to respond. My drunk seat mates nudges me hard with his elbow and says "Aaargh rudi sijamaliza kusoma io''(Aaargh go back I was not done reading that one) My eye actually twitched as I tried to fathom the nerve!!! " It was meant for me not you" I respond curtly and put my phone back into my handbag somewhat amused I must say. I need a distraction or I am going to suffocate!

It was still dark but the lighting in the bus was on I decide to take advantage and loose myself in a book I was reading titled "Speak English Dammit"The book is hilarious and within a short while am chuckling. I am lost in the book it is almost as if am not on a bus. I chuckle non stop through two pages of the book then my drunk seat mate grabs it and says " Let's laugh together jokes are better shared" I give him a look that could easily pierce through him! he hands it back like a scared child. I close my book and look out the window to establish how much longer I was going to be tormented by this fella. 

Thank God we were actually entering into the CBD. I was doing flips in my mind and doing a happy dance my time time in the torture chamber was up. I zip my bag up and hold it ready to alight. The bus stops and it is time to alight. He sits putt, looks at me and smiles at me. A shiver goes down my spine,there is something evil about that smile and I know I will find out what it is whether I want to or not! I ask " Do you mind moving please? I want to alight." He responds in a smack voice " relax" He scans to see everyone is almost off the bus and then he say " You so fine gal! You really are beautiful but you are so uptight and mean na juu ya hio story wacha niku upgrade(for that let me upgrade you)" he stands up and let out a loud long fart!! with his back to me!! I thought nothing can smell worse than his breathe...now I know there are worse smells I almost fall off the bus trying to get out for air! I look up the sky and I ask the gods "why??? is this price of waking up at ungodly hours?who is his mother??"  I am sure that fool meant downgrade!